An Easter Tale…Of Terror

Happy Easter Monday to you all!!  I hope you’ve all been having spectacular weekends, and have been able to make your chocolate last longer than I have…

Easter, like all holidays, tends to bring up special memories, and one of my most cherished Easter memories also still gives me nightmares.  Like many of you, I have a list of pretty sensible fears, like drowning or my dog eating my face off while I sleep.  I also have a mile-long list of irrational fears, like serial killers, my teeth suddenly falling out without warning (although I suppose it would be just as terrifying to hear your teeth warn you that they’re about to fall out…*adds another entry to the Irrational Fears list*), the possibility that a vengeful ghost lives at the bottom of my staircase and slowly ascends when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, Cheez Whiz and dead birds.  Suffice it to say, I’m not that tough. 

ANYWAY, let us rewind back to my first year of university, on Easter weekend.  It was a cheery Spring day, and most of us were celebrating by locking ourselves in the library for 14 hours straight, or, like me, bargaining with our floormates to drop something heavy on my head so that we could go to the hospital and thus be spared from exam hell for yet another day.   “If you were our friend, you would drop this on us!” …. “*exasperated sigh*  Yes, I am your friend, which is why I am not dropping this on you.”   Some of us study, some of us bargain desperately for a slight concussion in a stairwell…we all have our own exam preparation methods, I suppose.

The campus was a tad quieter, since some students went home for the holiday weekend, if their exam schedules allowed it.  My exam schedule thought otherwise, as did most of my floormates’, and we all hunkered down for a weekend of exam and essay insanity.  So imagine our surprise on Easter Sunday, when we awoke to find this elaborate set of clues for an Easter egg hunt!!!  My friend Cat, who is a top-notch human being, had concocted the entire thing.  I highly recommend Cat as a friend; surprise Easter egg hunts are just par for the course for her.   I was so excited that I didn’t even change out of my pyjamas, and ended up walking around campus in these really-obvious-pyjamas that were flannel and had penguins or ducks playing hockey or tobogganing or something, and the hems and sleeves were obviously much too short for me – -all while other people were sharply dressed in their pastel Easter finery.  

My friends and I followed the egg hunt clues all over campus until it led us back to the common room of our residence.   The fireplace of our common room, to be exact.   Hopping around in excitement (get it?  Like rabbits!),  we opened the fireplace door to find….a giant basket of eggs and other chocolate goodies….AND!  Nestled beside the basket? A GIANT DEAD BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Cat swore up and down that she didn’t plant the giant dead crow in the fireplace; in her excitement, she probably didn’t even notice the corpse-bird when she hid the Easter basket there.   We overcame our collective shock soon enough (some-me-later than others) and started feasting on the chocolate while joking about the most unusual Easter basket accessory ever.   We decided to name the bird “Igor De Mortis” and posted a sign on the fireplace door that read, “Igor de Mortis lives here…although he doesn’t so much live.”  And from then on, Easter celebrations have lacked a certain morbid panache.

Off to re-read “The Raven,”

Kylie


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